4 weeks old

it's so hard to believe that it has been 4 weeks since we welcomed miss charlie into the world. it's even harder to remember what life was like before her. i can't believe how complete we feel - and how much fun she is! i have to admit, being first-time parents is pretty hectic - but it is even more amazing!

sweet charlie girl

in the past couple of weeks, we've gotten a little more brave about taking charlie places. morgan and i took charlotte to her first chiro appointment at robinson family wellness in north liberty. can i just say how much we love it there? if anybody in the area is looking for a GREAT chiropractor, let me know and i'll get you the information for dr. ron. you won't be disappointed! anyway - back to my original train of thought. charlie was found to be out of place in one (very common) place, so dr. ron adjusted her and we were on our way. i couldn't believe the change i saw in charlotte immediately, and even more so during her late night (and early morning) feedings. she is a much calmer baby now - which is absolutely wonderful if you ask me!

i also took charlotte into work to meet my coworkers. my sister came with me to make it a little bit easier - and i was so thankful she did! what an awesome help cassie was. she helped carry everything while charlie was fussing, and even sat in the back of the car with her on the way home to keep her calm. thank you sister!! we had fun, and it was nice to see everyone again!

this past weekend we took charlotte to a luau party in durant for some birthday & graduation celebrations. she was okay minus the terrible heat. we stayed inside most of the time and then decided to leave. it was just too hot for the sweet girl. but it was lovely seeing everybody - we were so glad to have gotten to go.

us at the luau party

when i became a mother, or rather when i discovered i was pregnant, i thought being a mom was going to be relatively easy. i worked at a daycare for 3 1/2 years, not to mention i've babysat since i was 10 years old. i didn't think i would have any issues or really need anything at all. but then i had charlotte. i don't want to call myself neurotic, because i don't feel like that's the correct term, but i'd definitely say i'm overly cautious and very concerned about every aspect of charlotte's life. for example, she recently started getting little bumps all over her face, and they spread pretty rapidly. yep, i freaked out a bit, only to find out that it's 100% normal and there's nothing i can do about it (except wait for it to clear up). another example, when nursing, sometimes charlotte becomes upset and pulls away. so i'd take her off, but she'd cry and act like she still wanted to eat. so i'd put her back on and it'd start over again. CLUELESS! i had nooo idea what was wrong, and was beginning to feel like a terrible mother due to my inability to diagnose my child's issue. i'm learning that it could be a number of things... one being a reaction to dairy in my diet, another being that baby's just fuss, or it could be that she just wants to "comfort nurse" but is unable to due to the fact that milk is coming out. soo... my solution - cutting dairy out of my diet completely, trying to soothe her in every way possible when this happens, and trying out different pacifiers to see if there is one she'd prefer over another. (ps - the nuk wins every time.) this is where other moms prove to be so, so helpful. i have relied heavily on my friend jenn, as well as a group of mothers who i've gotten to know through a pregnancy app for iPhone. (welcome to 2011, right?) their combined expertise makes me feel so much more sane again! i couldn't be more grateful for their advice. charlie and i are getting the hang of things - but it is still so wonderful to know that other people have experienced these things, too!

as for morgan and i... morgan has been extremely busy with work, which is typical for the summer months. they have been putting in a new runway at the quad city airport, so that is where he has spent most of his time... typically 10-12 hour days. you should see his tan! :)
i, on the other hand, have been enjoying maternity leave to the fullest. there's nothing i'd rather do than be at home with my sweet daughter. she is such a blessing!!! i feel like when it is all said and done, i will be able to publish a humorous book titled, "the adventures and misadventures of maternity leave: no detail left to the imagination." every single day is a new adventure, and every plan takes a left turn no matter what you do! (like this morning, for example, we were going to go downstairs and relax, maybe take a nap. then, out of nowhere, charlotte vomits all over my hair. okay! a shower will be fine instead.) either way, the time i spend with her is so precious, even if she is pooping and puking on me.

charlotte has been sleeping for quite a while, so i'm going to take this time to get some things done before we head into town. (hopefully we make it there - silly girl always has different plans for us!)

-the mays'

OH - her pictures are up on ben shirk's website! please check them out. www.shirkphotography.com

charlie updates

the last 3 weeks have flown by! we can't believe how much charlotte has already changed. she has already had some fun adventures with mom and dad, including a trip to see some fireworks. (she slept through the whole show, and did not even budge when the big "boomers" went off. she was more startled by the screamers.)

charlie had her first pediatrician appointment yesterday afternoon. after much research and interviewing, we went with dr. zuercher at the iowa city family practice. we are so happy with our decision! dr. zuercher supports our rights as parents to decide which vaccines/medications, etc. we'd like to give our child (if any). we couldn't be more impressed with the way her first appointment was handled (aside from the one hour wait). charlie is back up to her birth weight - she weighed 7 pounds 12.8 ounces yesterday, which is in the 50th percentile. she has already grown an inch in length - she is up to 20.5 inches (50th percentile) and her head size is also in the 50th percentile (which, so far, indicates she does NOT have a maine head). she got a little fussy toward the end because she was hungry, so we had to sit in the car and nurse for a good 20 minutes after her appointment. (the office closed while we were there so we couldn't hang out and nurse there.) we go back in two weeks to check her growth, and then we will basically be going back once per month until she hits a year.

tomorrow, morgan and i are putting on our brave faces and taking charlotte with us to go see the final harry potter movie. we decided to go to an early showing for a plethora of reasons, but mainly because she sleeps a lot in the morning hours. the movie is only 2 hours & 10 minutes long, so if she does wake up, it would likely only be to quickly nurse and go back to sleep. (hopefully she doesn't poo herself!) i'm just not ready to leave her with a babysitter yet, so she will just have to come with us. we're likely going to the 10:30 am showing, so we're hoping there won't be a ton of people there.

also - we got charlotte's newborn pictures done. omg. i can't even begin to explain how incredibly difficult it was to narrow it down to a few photos! they are not on the website just yet, but in a few days you will be able to go to www.shirkphotography.com, click client portraits, and her photos should be listed under mays newborn. they are truly the cutest things i've ever seen.

so far, being at home with charlie has been so amazing. i'm not sure how i'll ever go back to work. often times we sit in complete silence, just gazing at one another. i'm so worried that i'll miss out on some milestone or be too distracted to notice a smile. it is crazy how much your whole world changes once you bring a child into the world. even as i sit upstairs on the computer, i feel my body aching to go downstairs and grab her, even though i know she's safe & perfectly content in her daddy's arms. thankfully the baby blues have packed their bags and left my house - what a rollercoaster that was!!

i was going to add some photos to this blog but it is taking forever for them to upload onto the computer! i will just have to overload my next post. hope you are all enjoying your summer so far!

-the mays'

Charlotte Joanna Mays

i apologize that it has taken me two weeks to blog about our sweet daughter's birth, but believe it or not, becoming parents is very time consuming & exhausting! this is the first time i've been on a computer in weeks, even before charlie's birth. but, while she's taking a little nap, i decided to type up our birth story - or what i could remember of it!

on sunday, june 26 (our first wedding anniversary) i woke up at 6:30 am with contractions. i didn't really think much of it because i had been having them on and off for several weeks. but for some reason i got out of bed and went downstairs to relax. i got morgan's anniversary gift all ready for him to open (cards/cubs tickets) and sat around wondering if i should start timing my contractions. morgan moseyed his way out of bed around 9:00, and i told him what was going on. we decided we should go on a walk to try to help things along (if it was the real deal). the contractions were still bearable but i could tell they were consistent - about 5-6 minutes apart. when we got back from our walk, i took an hour nap, but was awoken by stronger contractions. i decided i should soak in the bath. i remembered our childbirth preparation teacher (who became our doula) saying that if you take a bath & the contractions remain, then it's real labor. if you take a bath & the contractions go away, it was probably braxton hicks. well, when i got out of the tub, i was still having contractions, but they had spaced out further - now 10-15 minutes apart. frustrated, morgan and i decided to go on another walk. the contractions grew more intense and slightly closer together, but the inconsistency in time had me doubting it was real labor. we decided we should head into davenport to celebrate our anniversary. first we went to vanderveer park and walked around the rose garden (where our ceremony took place). next we headed to chili's (because we're classy like that) to have some dinner. i couldn't eat...i just felt different. when we got home that night, i remembered that my chiropractor recommended i drink a glass of wine to "knock myself into labor." i decided that didn't sound like too bad of an idea. i laid on the couch and had 3 sips of a $9 bottle of moscato di asti before my contractions became suddenly intense. it was about 9:30 pm at this point. i went upstairs and instinctively started putting together last minute things in my hospital bag. around 11:00 i decided i should lay down and try to get some rest, even though my contractions were steadily coming every 3-4 minutes and were very painful. (i must admit - i was stalling. i had no desire to go to the hospital due to fear of being turned away. i was in denial that this was real labor, even though i was restless & in obvious pain.) finally, my friend heather convinced me that i needed to get myself out the door to prevent myself from giving birth at the I-80 truck stop. (lol.) so, i told morgan to make the call. (this was seconds after he had laid himself down for bed. poor guy.) the midwife gave the go ahead, we called the doula & checked in with her, and the we loaded the car up. we were on the road to the hospital at 12:30 am.

we got to genesis around 1:00 am. they admitted me to triage where they checked my progress. i was severely disappointed to find out that I was 1 centimeter dilated and 70% effaced. this is the SAME point i was at when i went to my last prenatal check-up the thursday before. so, we were instructed to walk the halls in an effort to move things along. about 2 hours later i was 1 1/2 centimeters and 75% effaced. UN. REAL. i couldn't believe it. i was in excruciating pain at this point and was exhausted beyond reason. we returned to the halls to walk, but had already had our minds made up that we were going to go home and try to get some rest after they checked me again. at 4:00 they checked me and i was 2 1/2 centimeters dilated - which gave me my ticket to a room. i remember feeling extremely worried that i wasn't progressing quickly enough, and i began having fears about a c-section. but everything changed very quickly when my water broke on its own about 20 minutes after getting into my room. i'd say that was when things got real. the pain and pressure i was feeling was unlike anything i could ever begin to explain to anybody right now. i felt helpless, hopeless, and defeated. i was already begging for an epidural - the very thing i wanted NOTHING to do with on any level. the nurse was pretty quick to tell me that if i wanted an epidural, i needed an IV and had to go through a bag of fluid before they'd give me any medication. FINE, i said. give me an IV. (intervention #1.) i then remember begging to labor in the tub. my midwife showed up, checked me, said i was 5 centimeters dilated and gave me the go ahead to get in the tub. that was where i spent 90% of my labor. our doula, char, showed up a short time later, and thank God for her. i was at my wits end and morgan was losing his grip FAST. all i remember is her face in mine telling me that i wasn't getting an epidural because i didn't want one. she told me that i could do this the way i planned and that i'd be thankful once my baby was here.

and that was all it took. the epidural as out of my mind from then on (except for one small moment when morgan and i were left alone where i took the liberty to tell him that he didn't effing understand and that i needed the effing epidural NOW. hehe.). from the time that i got into the tub to the time that our precious baby entered this world, i had absolutely no concept of time. i was in the zone. i remember morgan being so sweet and caring while char was my voice of reason. i remember them holding me during contractions and placing ice cold rags on me in between. i remember them reminding me to breathe and make deep noises with each contraction. i remember them telling me how great of a job i was doing and that each contraction was once step closer to meeting my child.

eventually the bathtub became constricting and i felt as if i was being backed into a corner. they helped me out of the tub - but with each movement came another contraction. (yuuuck.) they suggested that i sit backwards on the toilet and experience a few contractions in that position. O-M-G. never, i repeat, NEVER sit on the toilet!! i could have died! so they walked me over to the bed and had me try a position there, but i didn't like that either. then they got out the birthing ball and asked me if i'd like to sit on it and labor there for a while. all i remember thinking was - ew, how many butts have been on this ball? despite the pain & misery i was in, i asked them to put a towel on it! lol. i can't believe i had the energy to even think of that. (by this point it was at least 7:00 am - so i had been awake for over 24 hours.) morgan says i labored on the ball for 20-30 minutes, although to me it felt like 5 minutes. the last thing i tried was lying on my side in the bed. this was where i felt my first urge to push. it was unlike anything i've ever felt before - my body completely took over and was doing exactly what it knew it needed to do. (awesome!) my midwife checked me and said i was 9 1/2 centimeters, 100% effaced and the baby's head was right there. she gave me the go ahead to push. for some reason - and i don't know why - i pushed from my back. this is 100% the opposite of what i wanted to do (and what i should have done). gravity is our friend, people, and when you're on your back trying to push a baby out, you're working against the laws of physics. but, i was so drunk with exhaustion that i didn't really care. my midwife got the mirror out and set it at the end of the bed so i could see what i was doing and know how to push. what a giant help that was!! i pushed for 45 minutes - although it didn't seem that long - and at 8:31 am, little miss Charlotte Joanna Mays was born. morgan and i got to deliver her together, and morgan cut the umbilical cord. i was in absolute shock -- i thought for sure this baby was a boy! i simply couldn't believe that morgan & i had a daughter to love and cherish - such a wonderful surprise! Charlotte - or Charlie for short - weighed in at 7 lb. 12 oz., 19 1/2 inches.

we were so exhausted, but we were even more in love with our sweet little girl; we both managed to stay awake for several more hours, just staring at our baby and falling deeper & deeper in love with each passing moment.

we feel so fortunate and blessed to have experienced birth the way we planned, and to have such a beautiful result. charlie is truly the greatest blessing in our lives and we look forward to watching her grow, learn, and become her own, sweet little person. :)

-the mays'

sweet girl scratched her face up before pics :(